OK, so I just got round to watching Twilight, and I really wish I hadn't bothered. It was a complete waste of time, and also a complete waste of a plot - vampire falls in love with human, has to control his "urges" around her, human discovers vampire's secret - that should've been at least vaguely engaging, but just fell totally flat. I have no idea how this film managed to make the thick end of $400 million worldwide. I have a whole list of problems with it in my head, but I'm not sure if I know how to put them all down. I guess I'll have a go...
Firstly, the romance between Edward and Bella was totally unconvincing. Perhaps if the story had given us more to go on than uncomfortable silences, sidelong glances and half baked emo-style "angst", I would've been able to invest a bit more in the supposed love affair between the characters. As it was, it came across like they weren't especially interested in each other, and were just getting on with the business of falling in love because the story told them to. I'm not sure if its the fault of the writing, the directing, or perhaps the acting, but both characters seemed to be a tad on the boring side - with Edward in particular coming off as an awkward, charisma-free personality vaccuum. You'd think someone who's lived for over 100 years would have learned how to have a little fun, wouldn't you? Bella didn't come out of it much better though, as she seemed to be a whiney little thing who wanted nothing more out of life than to be completely miserable.
Also, Bella's uncovering of Edward's secret was almost totally glossed over. It seemed to me like it was a case of "there's something not quite right with this guy, I shall use the powers of Google to find out what it is!"... cut to approximately 5 minutes, one trip to a Native American bookstore, and an encounter with some buffoons with naughty things on their mind later and we have... "aha, he's a vampire, I think I'll go out with him!" These things never, ever end well - didn't she watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Then there's the Cullen "family" to consider, they just seemed like cyphers to me.... there to do nothing more than advance the plot without actually contributing much to it. The story didn't really spend any time in giving us insights into what it's like for them to live amongst humans and suppress their urges to hunt and kill. The only hint of their difficulties came from a throwaway line about their newest member finding things a "bit difficult" - I'll assume that's why he spent the majority of his scenes looking like he was suffering from a severe case of constipation.
Another problem I had was with the pacing. Nothing of any real interest happens, apart from a few unexplained deaths, until the dodgy, no good vampire James takes a decidedly inexplicable fancy to Bella and decides to kill her just for the hell of it - going so far as to track down her old address and tricking her into meeting him. Surely he could've found a himself an equally satisfying meal without resorting to such fiendish means?
So there's the negative aspects of the film. Now for some positives:
It looked fabulous, with excellent cinematography and deliciously desaturated colours throughout, which helped to draw attention away from the rather wishy-washy and underdeveloped storyline. Some of the visual effects were a little bit on the ropey side, but I'm willing to forgive that, as the movie was made on a comparatively modest $37 million budget.
Taylor Lautner turned in a decent performance as Jacob Black, who apparently has a much meatier, expanded role in the follow up. I can only imagine that to be a good thing, as his on screen presence is far more engaging than either Kristen Stewart or Robert Pattinson. Perhaps it's because he's not playing an awkward, self absorbed and introverted weirdo?
Apparently the sequel comes out in a few months time, and the third movie is already filming. I can only hope that they're both more engaging, and less soporific and morose than the first outing turned out to be.
